Part (a) of Part III

I won a book yesterday only because my parents decided to concieve me when they did. It's nice to get free stuff based on somthing you have no control over. I wish I could win the lottery without actually going to buy the ticket. I can see it now. "Kaile, you've won a hundred million bucks (not deer) all because you are alive today and your birthday is August 16th." It's a nice thought-unrealistic, yes, but nonetheless, nice. I admit that I used to watch Real Chance of Love religiously and yes I was probably less smart afterwards. I really like the Berenstein Bears. I loved them as a kid and I love reading them to my kid. Something else I love-spoonfulls of peanut butter and chocolate chips. It's kind of like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, just not exactly like it. There is not an easily accessible library near my house and I would really like to open a library. I take that back I really want someone else to open the library so that I can just go there and get books. It's the whole accessibility piece, who am I kidding, I don't have that much time to read-I'm a mom.

Part III

I got onto an airplane yesterday, it was an 18 seat plane and as I was going up the stairs I looked to my left and there was a man on a ladder underneath the wing and he was using a cordless Dewalt screwdriver to screw the wing back together. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyhow-I was not impressed. I did silently thank them that they were screwing it back together before we took off, but all I could think was that it must be coming apart and I should probably have my own cordless screwdriver with me in case I needed to screw something back together mid flight. I should have asked to borrow his. On another note I felt very "Hollywood" to be flying on a chartered flight, there were 6 people on the plane on my flight out and only my co-worker and I on the way back. I secretly took pictures of the plane and texted them to my husband because I felt so cool. I'm sure the novelty will wear off as it becomes more routine but I'm going to enjoy it now. Grandparents have it easy-they get to suck all of the goodness out of the children and then give the crabby, stinky version back to the parents. All the while I think they secretly laugh to themselves that we had it coming to us for being brats as kids. Oh well they deserve it after years of torture/joy.

Part II

I think when people drive up to a fast food restaraunt and order a "double cheese burger", they generally are not getting what they order. It's usually a bun, two burger patties with a slice of cheese in the middle. What they are actually getting is a double burger with cheese. So unless they specify "two pieces of cheese" they are getting ripped off. I don't really care because I don't eat cow, but hey, you can call me Captain Obvious. Fall is a great time of year-I challenge anyone to play a game of "Catch the Falling Leaf" from a very tall tree with a friend or two or three. It's a ton of fun, it's not as easy as you think and I think it's even better than catching snowflakes on your tounge. My 11 mo old child booty shakes, she is her mama's daughter. I'm so proud. Thank God someone was brainy enough to come up with the flat screen LCD HDTV's-they are so much lighter than the old school, elephant sized televisions. I helped a friend move a 32 inch tv 6 inches and I broke a sweat, my muscles were shaking and I'm surprised I walked out upright. It weighed 150 pounds. I came home and kissed our 25 pound 32 inch flat screen and my husband because he's the one who actually moved it. I started this blog at the encouragment of my friend who is moving across country and wants to be able to internet stalk me and my family. She's lucky I haven't disconnected the battery cables and let the air out of their car tires because I am going to miss them...well I already do. I hope their travels are safe and I know their future is bright and I'm lucky to know them. Love you Nikki and Adam.

Part I (as seen on Facebook)

I don't dislike cleaning-I would just rather do something else. I think there should be a national holiday dedicated to FB Farming. Yoville is addicting. I think cell phones lead to dementia; people forget how to drive, how to hold a conversation in person, how to spell, remember phone numbers etc, and eventually it will be an actual DSM-IV diagnoses. Loving a child is a primal instinct that would make any rational person turn into an irrational, rabid mama bear. I'm on a mission of personal growth. I never understood it when people say "kids grow up fast" and then I had one of my own. I like to be annoying sometimes, just ask my husband. I wish I liked high heels-I would buy more cute shoes. Having a nice purse and a nice wallet can make a woman feel totally put together, even if she hasn't showered and she is at Wal-mart in her sweats. My car occasionally feels like a giant garbage can on wheels. I think Hummers are the dumbest car to be driving on the highway. They should be dirty and climbing steep mountains. I would like to buy furniture just for fun every year. Bigger house=more cleaning. I don't wear lipstick. I wish I accessorized more. I will buy a pair of Nike shox some day, just not anytime soon. I like my feet. My hands are replicas of my mothers and my grandmothers-I hope my daugther's hands resemble mine. The internet is a time sucker. My husband has this knack for making me feel like I'm amazing and I am so in love with him.